Family Vacations

We just got back from spending a week in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was wonderful down there. Everyday we would go down to the beach and look out on the Atlantic Ocean. I love looking out there as it seems endless, and I long to get in a little boat and see what's on the other side. Then the kids remind me that it's Cuba and how many sharks there are in the water, and my fantasy balloon lands!

Whenever I think about going on vacation I remember the words of Jerry Seinfeld when he said, "Nothing is fun for the entire family"! "Otherwise massage parlors would offer ice cream and jewelry"! This is so true! One of the first things I remember about going on vacations as a child was going to Indian Lake. That's the only place my parents ever went! They went there every summer. We had a rented cottage there. My Uncle Dick had a small metal fishing boat with an Evinrude motor attached to it. I would be treated to boatrides across Indian Lake. The little boat would bounce off the waves the other boats made for us. In my eyes I was in a speed boat! We would stay in that cabin by the beach for a week. I would swim in the lake. My mother would put my hair up in bobby pins--so tight that I could easily pass for a Chinese kid! In the evening hours my father, Aunt Bea, and Uncle Dick would go out in the middle of the lake and fish for Old Blue (the legendary and biggest catfish in all of Indian Lake). My mom and I would stay back at the cabin, but I could see the little boat with the three friends and a lit lantern staying out there 'til the wee hours. Years later I read that O'Connor's Landing where we used to have our meals had burned to the ground, and all the old cabins had been torn down. I went back to Indian Lake years later trying to find Blackhawk where we stayed, but nothing was recognizable to me anymore. My parents and aunt and uncle are all gone now. I read awhile back in the book "Haunted Ohio" that O'Connor's Landing is haunted by a group of people. I think these folks are my parents and aunt and uncle still out there playing Euchre, casting lines in the lake using the god-awful Catfish Charlie as a lure for the fish, talking, and laughing--not really haunting at all! Just having fun!

Speed forward to today at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and me with a husband and children of my own: The kids asked me to come with them to the beach and learn how to boogie board on the waves. A huge wave came up thrusting me up on shore like a beached whale, covering me with water, and claiming my prescription sunglasses. It really is true what Jeff Foxworthy says about "never losing a pair of cheapos". I waited for a snorkler to come up to me saying they found my sunglasses, but that only happens with a pair of cheapos! Oh well! I was due for another eye exam anyway! I found a lifeguard on the beach and started to tell him about Mr. Foxworthy's take on sunglasses and to ask him if someone had turned some in. That's when I found out how the lifeguards of today still look American, blonde, and handsome but can't understand a word you are saying because they are Austrian, Italian, etc. and just working there for the summer. He just shook his head and said, "No" and "have a safe trip home"!

Next we went to a bordertown on the edge of North and South Carolina. We boarded the Screamin' Thunder boatride. We'll call our driver, Captain Ron! Captain Ron warned us that the seas might be rough that day, my friends! Hurricane Ernesto had greeted our family to South Carolina! My husband chose to ride under the canopy while the kids and I rode in the back of the boat for the thrill of it all! I wanted to impress my kids once again just as I had by finally mastering boogie boarding earlier! The boat made it's way out to the ocean. I found myself saying as we went, "We've got a need for speed"! We chopped through the waves. I was filled with excitement! Waves of water came over the boat likes crisp sheets slapping our faces along with salt and sand! I found I couldn't keep my eyes open because of the seasalt! My husband said I should have kept my eyes closed and not rubbed them, but what would be the fun in that?? I screamed and laughed with glee never wanting to come across as the weak, party pooper! We pulled up close to a shrimping boat. I wanted to yell out all the ways that Forrest Gump said he could prepare shrimp and found myself saying out loud, "Bubba Gump Shrimp--it's a household name"! No doubt, if the captain of the shrimp boat would have heard me he would have reacted the same way the lifeguard did whom I talked with earlier! We saw some dolphins semi-leaping in the water. After our brief repose, the captain put the boat motor back in full throttle for the rest of the drenching fun ride back! I looked around and saw some of my fellow passengers looking green and throwing up in trash bags. What was this, I thought to myself?? My daughter sat in front of me with her head in her arms. I was now the brave and fearless one, although, I knew I wouldn't be credited with this in the end.

Thank you Uncle Dick for preparing me for family vacations on the high seas! Dramamine anyone??